As one We're weak but together we can face anything
by Syreina
Summary: Seth regrets everything and finally can't take it anymore. See warnings in the story.
1. Chapter 1

The song is by Silver Chair: Suicidal Dream.

Seth muse is being a turd, so I'm letting him get it out.

WARNING WILL ROBINSON WARNING: there is suicide mentioned in this.

* * *

Help me comfort me  
Stop me from feeling what I'm feeling now,  
The rope is here,  
Now I'll find a use,  
I'll kill myself,  
I'll put my head in a noose

My suicidal dream,  
Voices telling me what to do,  
My suicidal dream,  
I'm sure you will get yours too,

Seth sits in the bathroom of his hotel room, idly playing with the blade in his hand. Everything had just spiraled for him out of control. Now Roman was trying to kill him. The ones that he loved more then everything just wanted him dead and in the ground. Nothing was going the way it was supposed to. The Authority where using him to progress their own agenda. Dean wouldn't listen when he talked. Roman wouldn't come near him unless it was like on Monday.

He could see why people wanted him gone and out of their lives. He was a waste of space, just a puppet for Hunter to play with. Everything was too far gone for him to fix anymore.

Seth leans back against the mirror in the bathroom from where he's perched on the counter. He runs his thumb along the blade savoring the coldness of the steel. Before this Dean and Roman loved him and cared for him. They wanted to be the brothers and family he was never afforded in life. Roman had almost been like a father to him at times. Dean was like the annoying older brother that once in a while would teach him things he didn't know about. Seth had took on his step father's name but that was because he was the closest thing to a father he ever had. He wasn't his son though. His mother ignored him because he wasn't his step father's child either.

When Hunter approached him, he thought it was a good idea. He honestly believed that things would be better. He also thought that he could bring better things to his brothers like title shots for them. But when Dean took after him in the ring and now Roman throwing cinder blocks at his head, he knew that would never be the case. Even if he did it wouldn't fix anything.

Seth grips the blade and presses it against his wrist. The only thing left was to give people what they wanted. The fans told him he should die. Dean in their last conversation wished he would die. Roman just wanted to be the one to end Seth's life. Roman will probably be pissed that he didn't get to be the one to do it Seth muses.

Seth lets the blade bite into his wrist, dragging it across it. He watches as the blood flows freely from it. Seth closes his eyes and hisses as he does the same to the other wrist. He may as well not do things half assed he surmised. He watches as the blood pools in his lap and then reaches up. He writes one simple word on the mirror with his own blood. "sorry"

He begins to weak and then suddenly he can't keep his balance and falls off the counter with a heavy thud. Never thinking someone below him would hear that. He lays there letting the blood still come, not making a move to stop it. He hears a knocking at the door and then a harsh voice yell asking if he's ok. In his foggy mind he thinks he knows the voice. He pushes it out of his mind ignoring that feeling.

The crashing of the door being broken in bring a small reprieve to the fogginess. He looks up as the people enter the room. There's a deep gasp and then a command for the other to call 911.

Big hands wrap around him and pull him up into someone's chest. Then another set of hands wrap around his wrists stopping the bleeding.

"Jesus Christ Seth what'd you do.. I need an ambulance.." the person states to the phone, "My friend tried to commit suicide. He's bleeding.. he's lost a lot of blood."

Seth whimpers and struggles against the person but both of them are able to hold him and keep him from pulling his wrists away. A deep rumble from the person holding him commands him to sit still. The fog is lifting as the bleeding stops because of the one holding his wrists. Seth's eyes seem to be able to focus as a familiar scent hits him. He idly wonders if it's hopeful thinking as he feels the blackness hoover at the edge of his vision.

He looks at the one holding his wrists firmly on the phone and he recognizes Dean's eyes glaring at him with fear and anger. Seth then looks up and the person holding him looks down at him with sharp grey eyes that he came to love to respect and he knows it's Roman.

Roman mumbles, "Stay with us Seth."

Seth shakes his head, "let me go. I'm tired."

He really is too.. The blood lose and emotional pain just making him overwhelming exhausted. Also the fact that come morning they would be gone. Tears prick his eyes and he attempts to struggle again but he's weak so there is no making Dean's hands budge. Seth can hear the ambulance in the back ground.

Seth's world tilts though and he is losing his grasp on consciousness. He finally falls against Rome's chest and loses the battle. Letting the Darkness take him is the only thing on his mind and his need to sleep. Dean's panicked screams of Seth is the last things he hears as the world fades away and then crashing of the Paramedic's coming into the room over the broken door.

Hours later he wakes in a hospital bed. His feet and arms restrained with padded leather restraints. His head is pounding and world spinning. He feels so thirsty he would kill for water or anything. He forces his eyes open and the bright white light makes him cry out in pain.

He pauses when he feels a warm hand on his face, and looks up at the upset eyes of Roman. He can't seem to find any words or form a thought other then he's so cold and the hand is warm. He leans against the hand and whimpers when it's pulled back after a couple minutes. Doctors come and poke him. They give him some water and start asking hard questions.

Seth shakes his head and refuses to answer anything. Let them think what they want; he thinks to himself, come morning Dean and Roman will walk out and he'll be alone. The restraints are taken off him when he says he's not a danger to himself anymore. He's though in a room clear of any sharps or anything he could harm himself with. He plays with the blanket after the doctors are gone and he doesn't expect anyone to come back or anyone to care that he's in here. He curls on his side and looks down at his wrists. The cotton around them is stained with blood but he knows under that everything is stitched up.

He squeaks when a hand roughly takes his hand and then Roman glares at him, "no Seth."

Seth looks confused up at him and then looks at the door way where Dean is standing. Dean glares at him and mumbles that he should beat him senseless for trying something this stupid. Roman nods and sits down beside the bed. Seth looks more confused at them both. They sit there in silence and Seth lays back down in the bed. He still feels numb and confused but lets the other two have the silence. He knows this won't last and once they leave and he can either finish or will go on.

Dean goes and talks to the doctors. He comes back and throws Seth some Joggers and a shirt, "they're releasing you into our custody. Get dressed."

Seth nods and moves off the bed, and pulls on his clothing.

Roman looks at Dean questioning if this is the right thing. Dean shrugs and then grabs Seth by the arm, leading him to the car. The ride is spent in the same silence as the hospital. When they arrive at the hotel Seth is a little shocked. He's nearly barreled over when Stephanie actually flies into his arms and hugs him tightly. Paul is following behind and runs his hand through Seth's hair. Cody looks distraught and angry at the same thing which Seth didn't think was possible.

Cody pulls Seth against him and holds him, his nails biting into Seth's sides since he's holding him so tightly. Dean speaks to Stephanie and she nods. Dean then walks over and when Cody lets go, Dean leads him towards the elevator. Dean says nothing to him and Roman just watches as if Seth will try and do something right there. He knows his room is a floor higher but they stop and Dean without a word pulls him down the hallway.

Dean opens the door and lets Seth into the bedroom. He pauses looking around, knowing that it's Roman and Dean's room. Dean sighs because now Seth is blocking the door frozen in place. Dean wraps his arms around Seth's waist too tired for this and picks Seth up and carries him in further. Roman closes the door and locks it.

Seth looks around, looking and feeling lost. Dean mumbles something about needing sleep. Seth finally notices the blood on Dean and Roman's clothing. Something his mind must have blocked out. He looks down at himself and there's dried blood still on him.

Dean goes into the bathroom and empties it of anything that Seth could use and then pushes him towards the bathroom.

"You need to shower.. Leave the door open or I'll break it down." He orders.

Seth just nods numbly and goes to shower. All three eventually shower, and change their clothing again, Roman having gotten Seth's bags from the hotel. Seth is sitting on the bed, curled against the head board giving him space. Dean is sitting on the other bed with Roman.

"So.." Dean states, "I do want an explanation Seth and it better be a good one."

Seth shrugs, "why. You're going to kick me out come morning and everything will go back to the way it was. There's no real point."

"uh the point is.. you almost died Seth. If you didn't fall off that counter you would have bleed out," Roman demands.

Seth sighs softly, "You guys had to be the ones under my room didn't you?"

Dean snorts, "not like we planned it."

Seth stands and shakes his head, "Listen.. you don't have to feel guilty. I know you don't want me around I can't blame you and I know that you're going to kick me out as soon as your over the guilt. I'll just go now."

Roman grabs Seth by the wrist and Seth lets out a cry of pain as Roman Yanks him so they're together, "you little shit you think this is just about Guilt. No matter how you feel about the matter I'm not going to let you kill yourself your my brother you dipshit."

Seth freezes.

"Yeah you heard me, Your my brother," Roman demands, "And I reserve the right to kick your ass when you need it. Yes throwing the Cinder block was stupid. What you did to Dean was stupid too. We are family and my family had adopted you two as well. Your stuck with us."

Tears Prick Seth's eyes and he just finds himself unable to even wipe them away.

Dean nods and where he sits, "We're family Seth. Outside the ring the authority isn't your family we are. "

Seth slumps and whispers, "That's all I wanted."

Roman grabs Seth and pulls him against him, "Sorry it took this long to realize that." Dean stands and wraps his arms around the men as well.


	2. Chapter 2

I wanted to dabble in the "As one We're weak but together we can face anything" world again. So yes… Round two of angst. Also I needed a break from the fluff that is my other current story. Consider this part two of a one shot. I don`t know if there will be a third part and I don't want to get anyone's hopes up.

WARNING: Suicide/self harm! is mentioned in this. Do not read if you are triggered by that.

…..

_Destroy my pain_  
_Then capture life again_  
_(This time it's different)_  
_Destroy my shame_  
_Can't live my life this way_  
_LET! go, GO! let go_  
_And capture life again_  
_LET! go, GO! let go_  
_Can't live my life this way_

_I'm giving up_  
_I'm living but weak_  
_I'm hearing voices from shadows inside me_  
_I never sleep,_  
_My eyes are too focused, too hopeless, too broken, too open, to notice_  
_Interfering with the call of fate is crawling out of you, and now_  
_Finding comfort in the smallest spaces have sold out_  
_I know I said_  
_I hope I don't upset the light you defend_  
_But this time it's different_

It had been a couple days since the suicide attempt of Seth. He was immediately taken off TV other than a couple taped promo's for this week and possibly next and wasn't allowed at the house shows. Dean was off because he was supposed to be hurt and Roman was off house shows until further notice.

Dean and Roman kept treating Seth like glass and Seth still couldn`t even close the bathroom door. Dean was particularly the worst with the rules. Dean had attempted suicide in the past from what Roman told Seth when Seth questioned this. Dean kept thinking his brother, who he just got back, was going to kill himself still. Seth was trying to take it all since he still felt guilty that everyone worried over him and that Dean was put into this state of constant worry. He though was nearing his limit.

Also still in the back of Seth`s mind was the fact that this couldn`t last. It was like a nagging part of him that he couldn't be rid of. Seth hadn't let anyone look at the bandages. If they had seen under the bandages they would have seen the other cuts that had been covered by the blood when Dean had held Seth's wrist to stop the bleeding. Seth's suicide attempt had been the first of that kind but the self harming had been before that.

Seth had taken everything that the Roman and Dean said and when he put it back at them it was more he was saying it to himself. he said everyone on Raw and did everything to hurt himself. Some of it, like the calling them business associates, was more wishful thinking to keep the pain from being real. Seth pulls the bandage off his wrist and looks at the stitches and then old healing or healed cuts. He was damaged.. and broken. Most of all he was still so numb.

Seth then leans back and listens to the sounds of the house. He can hear Dean move around and prolly was looking for him. He can hear Roman's voice telling Dean to calm down. He finally stands up and walks down stairs, not putting the bandages back on. He walks towards Dean, who looks at him with narrow eyes.

Seth can't keep going like this. He can't keep feeling this pain and more then anything he wants to be whole again. Roman looks at him from where he leans against the counter. Dean goes to open his mouth and then looks at Seth's wrists and notices the bandages off. Seth shuffles forward and holds them out, showing Dean the damage done to his wrists.

Dean's pained gasp makes Seth wince. Roman frowns deeply and takes a hold of Seth's wrists to appraise what was going on and Seth could almost laugh at the look on Roman's face since the obvious that Roman thought they where just make up at first.

Dean whispers, "Seth.."

Seth looks at them both and whispers, "I need help.."


End file.
